


endless

by 20poundsofcrazy



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Multi, OT3, Pre-OT3, i love them anyway tho, peggy and jack are bad at talking about things, post jacks shooting, seriously why do none of these people talk about their feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26846806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/20poundsofcrazy/pseuds/20poundsofcrazy
Summary: When Jack is shot, Peggy and Daniel start to realize how much he really means to them. They realize that they might even love him. But can they actually confront those feelings, or will they have to live with all the unspoken things forever?
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Daniel Sousa/Jack Thompson
Comments: 19
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i've written like seven pages of this and it's not done yet, so this is just the first chapter of many to come. i hope you enjoy it!

Hospitals were endless, and Peggy had done quite enough of waiting in them recently. She didn’t believe in god or any other related nonsense, but if there was a place between heaven and hell, a purgatory, she imagined it would be a hospital. Yes, endless really was the right word. Nothing ever stopped in a hospital. The beeping of various machines, the sound of shoes on the shiny floors, the murmur of voices as doctors and nurses consulted. The monotony was only broken by the occasional arrival of a doctor and the flood of emotions that accompanied that, good or bad. 

The waiting room couldn’t even be bothered to have comfortable chairs, and Peggy had abandoned hers long ago and was now wandering around. How funny it was to designate a specific room for waiting, she thought. She supposed there was a lot of that in hospitals. She didn’t like waiting, she much preferred to be able to take action. Whether that fixed problems or simply created more of them didn’t really matter as long as there was something she could do. As long as she was doing something, up and walking and working, the guilt couldn’t creep in and consume her. Guilt was endless too, pounding away in the back of her mind, as steady as the beat of her heart. A constant refrain of  _ why didn’t I help, why wasn’t I there, why didn’t I do something, it’s all my fault.  _ She had to keep it at bay. She didn’t know what she would do when she couldn’t.

She had been an incurable fidgeter when she was younger. 

Peggy couldn’t think about Jack. She refused to let her mind wander as her feet were, or at least, not in that particular direction. So instead she let it go blank, white like the walls and floors and light that surrounded her. Daniel wasn’t with her, she’d left him behind in the waiting room. She was in some sort of corridor, unpopulated. The doors were closed and dark on each side, and the floor was grubbier here. It felt forgotten. It felt right. 

She was pacing up and down the hallway, her reflection keeping up with her in the dark windows of the doors. Her heels made soft clicks on the floor, not sharp enough to really be satisfying. They sounded just enough like the ticking of a clock that Peggy found herself ripping her shoes off and throwing them in a corner. He was running out of time, she hadn’t gotten there in time, he- 

She wasn’t thinking about that. She was actively  _ not  _ thinking about Jack, or how he was up in an operating room right now, too pale and too lifeless. How he had lost so much blood it had bubbled up around her shoes when she ran to his side. How he had been  _ alone.  _ Abandoned. 

Was the blood still on her shoes, or had she changed them? She couldn’t remember. 

Peggy stopped pacing and leaned against a door for a second, shifting so the handle wouldn’t jab into her back. She could feel the paint flaking off onto her dress. Her shoes were still in the corner, so she walked over to them, bent down, whacked her head on the wall and cursed. Her voice sounded too loud in the silence of this lonely hallway. She picked up her shoes, holding them by the straps and turning them over to check the soles. They were dark crimson, stained where the blood had seeped into the soft leather. Peggy hooked her fingers into the back of the shoes and carried them with her as she tried to remember which way she had come. It was time to go back and see if Jack was out of surgery, or if there was any news at all. 

The hallways got brighter as she walked back towards the part of the hospital that was still in use. Cleaner too, and busier. They were filled with bustling people who didn’t spare a glance for the woman wandering around, carrying her shoes in one hand. 

Peggy was almost to the waiting room when someone grabbed her arm and called her name. She spun around and saw a short, blonde woman smiling up at her.  _ Violet.  _ She pasted on a small smile. 

“Hello, Violet,” she said, wondering if Violet was mad at her. After all, she had every right to be. Daniel had been her fiance. But Violet was beaming, looking a little confused but not at all angry. 

“Hey, Peggy,” she said. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m, uh, my friend is…” And to her embarrassment, Peggy found tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, clearing her throat and holding her head high, as if the tears would somehow slide back into her tear ducts. “What I meant is, my friend’s in the hospital.” Friend didn’t exactly feel like the right word for Jack, although she couldn’t find a better one. 

“Oh, Peggy, I’m so sorry,” Violet said, patting her arm sympathetically. 

“Thank you,” she said politely, pulling her arm free. “I should probably get back, Daniel will be wondering where I am.” Violet’s face changed, her smile becoming just a little more fixed. 

“Of course. Daniel,” she murmured, before looking back up at Peggy. “Well, good to see you. I hope your friend’s okay!” 

“Thank you,” Peggy said again before walking away. 

When she arrived in the waiting room, Daniel stood up and rushed over to her. Jarvis was right behind him. Peggy just stood there like an idiot, her shoes dangling loosely from her hand. When Daniel put his arms around her, she didn’t even hug him back at first. She just stood frozen for a moment before wrapping her arms around him. Her shoes knocked against his back, and he pulled back to look at her. 

“Peggy, I didn’t know where you were. I was worried… why aren’t you wearing your shoes?” 

Peggy felt the tears welling up again, and this time she wasn’t sure she could hold them back. She held up her shoes. “Oh, they’re, um. They’re…” Daniel took them from her gently, and she could see him blinking back his own tears as he saw the stains. “They’re…” Peggy tried again, but the tears crowding her throat wouldn’t let her speak. One rolled down her cheek, followed by another. She wiped them away angrily with the back of her hand, but they kept coming, rolling silently down her face as she choked back the ugly sobs trying to spill out of her. Daniel hugged her again, holding her tightly. She buried her face in his shoulder until she regained some control.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered. Jarvis stepped forward, holding up a small suitcase. 

“Ana has sent you a change of clothes, and I believe she has included a new pair of shoes,” he said. Peggy reached for the case gratefully. 

“Your wife is an angel,” she said to Jarvis.

“I will tell her you were very grateful,” he replied. Peggy took the case and disappeared into the restroom, even though she didn’t particularly enjoy changing in public bathrooms. They were always too cramped, and dirty, and they never felt quite private enough. But at least trying to figure out how to fasten her dress without banging her elbows on the wall of the stall took her mind off of Jack. 

She emerged wearing a new dress, with new shoes, but still feeling tired and grubby. Daniel offered a tired smile when he saw her. 

“Any news?” she asked, even though she’d been asking that for hours now and no one had had an answer.

“He’s out of surgery, but it’s still touch and go,” Daniel said, and Peggy heaved a sigh of relief. 

“Good.  _ Good. _ He’s going to get better.”

“Peggy, that’s not exactly what the doctor said, they still don’t know-”

“He is going to get better,” Peggy repeated forcefully. If she said it enough, it might even come true. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack wakes up, and Peggy and Daniel insist that he come stay with them when he's released from hospital. This presents... some complications, and complicated feelings. Complicated in the name of the game in this fic haha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um yeah when i said soon i really meant it, so here's chapter 2!! i'm pretty proud of my writing in this chapter so i hope you like it

The waiting is always the worst part, but if you are very lucky, you are rewarded for your patience. In this case, Peggy was luckier than she’d been in years, and the next morning they got a call saying that Jack was stable, but that they couldn’t see him yet. She hung the phone up and turned to Daniel, grinning from ear to ear. 

“He’s stable,” she announced. “He’s going to make it.” Daniel got up from the table and kissed her joyously. 

“He’s going to make it,” Peggy repeated in a murmur, still grinning. 

As soon as they were allowed to see him, they rushed to the hospital. They made it almost all the way to Jack’s room before a nurse stopped them, peering at them over her glasses.

“Are you family?” she asked loudly.

“Yes,” Peggy answered without thinking. “Yes, of course we are.”

They took turns staying with him, staying as late as they could. Eventually a nurse took pity on Peggy and brought her a cot, and then she and Daniel spent most nights with Jack as well. He didn’t seem to do much except sleep in an unnatural sort of way, still and quiet; the only sound was the rustle of starched sheets as his chest rose and fell gently. Peggy was profoundly grateful for that rustle, for the fact that he was still breathing. She hadn’t really known how much he meant to her until she was faced with the prospect of a life without him. And in the hospital room, in between fitful snatches of sleep, it didn’t even seem strange to admit to herself that she loved him. That maybe she always had, she’d certainly always been attracted to him. But then there was Daniel, and he was _Daniel,_ and that attraction had fallen away into nothing. It was still nothing, because Daniel was still Daniel, and he was hers now. But as she lay awake, listening to Jack breathe, her sleep deprived brain ran wild and her hazy thoughts wondered _Why can’t I love them both?_ She couldn’t really find an answer for that question. And when she woke, and met Jack’s eyes for the first time in what felt like forever, all she could think was _Maybe I can._

“You’re awake,” she said dumbly. Jack huffed a laugh and then winced.

“Yeah, I am. I’ve been watching you sleep.”

“That’s not strange at all,” Peggy said, trying for sarcasm. Relief was coursing through her whole body, and she was thinking she might understand now how Daniel had felt when they finally closed the rift and he fell back to earth. “Jack, I’m so glad you’re awake,” she said heavily, dropping all thoughts of witty banter. She could feel tears moistening her eyes. 

“Don’t get soft on me now, Carter,” Jack said, looking somewhat alarmed. She managed a wet laugh.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying, I swear, but Jack… You don’t know what it was like, not knowing whether you were going to live through the night. I was a mess, Daniel and I both were.”

“Really?” His alarm was turning into a strange look, one she couldn’t decipher. “Didn’t know you cared,” he added, cracking his trademark careless smile, but it looked like a crooked mask. Peggy couldn’t remember the last time she’d believed that smile, but it didn’t matter, she’d still fall for it every day. But even if he was hiding behind a joke, Jack needed to know.

“Jack,” she said firmly, holding his gaze. She was so relieved to see his eyes open. “We care. I care.”

“Okay,” he replied. They stayed like that for a moment longer, just looking at each other. Then Jack seemed to shake himself back to reality and looked away. Peggy did the same, and something occurred to her.

“I should call Daniel. Oh, Jack, he’ll be so relieved.”

“Okay, you do that.” Jack wouldn’t meet her eyes. Peggy sucked in a deep breath, opened her mouth, closed it again, and left. 

Two days later, Peggy and Daniel were bringing Jack home. He had protested, saying that it wasn’t safe, but Peggy had refused to listen to him, even when he caught her alone and said, with pleading eyes, “I can’t put you and Daniel in danger, Peggy. I _can’t_.” She had simply steeled her resolve against those clear blue eyes and said 

“I assure you, we’ll all be perfectly safe. Daniel and I can take care of ourselves. Don’t worry about us.” After that conversation, he had stopped arguing. He just silently submitted to the indignity of walking out of the hospital with them, clinging on to their arms. Daniel shot Peggy a questioning look but she just shook her head, unwilling to try to explain something she didn’t even understand. She knew what was going on, at least somewhere in her head, but to put it in words would be asking too much of her. So she just walked out into the bright sunlight with both the men she loved and said nothing.

As they walked through Daniel’s house, Peggy saw Jack taking everything in, and knew that the two toothbrushes and stray earrings didn’t escape his notice. She got him settled in what was technically the master bedroom because it was upstairs and Daniel had never used it. 

“Are you going to be alright?” she asked, pausing in the doorway. He stopped trying to arrange his water glass within easy reaching distance on the bed stand to give her a tired smile. 

“Of course. Doctors said I’m fine,” he answered, and Peggy replied with a frustrated scoff.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it, Jack Thompson.”

“Then what did you mean?” And oh, he was smiling such a smug smile, like he knew her words would fail her. She hated that smile, hated the resigned satisfaction that was behind it because he didn’t believe she would ever truly love him. 

“Damnit, Jack,” she said finally, giving the doorframe a halfhearted kick. “Damnit.” 

“Goodnight, Peggy,” he said, a clear dismissal, and yet something lingered behind it. It sounded like goodbye, not goodnight, and she hated herself the second she closed the door and walked away.

Daniel could tell something was bothering her. He could _always_ tell. As she sat on the edge of the bed, carefully rolling her hair around the rollers (the last few days had taken a toll on all of them, but Peggy refused to let that show in her appearance) Daniel crawled over to sit beside her, resting a questioning chin on her shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

“You know me too well,” she said in half hearted frustration, shaking out a curler and starting to redo it. Daniel just sat, looking at her, waiting for an answer.

“It’s Jack,” she said. “Do you… do you feel it too?” There was no need to elaborate. Peggy knew he felt it, at least at some level. She also knew that the sense of wrongness that came with that feeling was much more deeply ingrained in him, so he’d probably just pushed it down without another thought. 

“Yeah,” Daniel said heavily. “Yeah, I do.”

“So do I,” Peggy said. Then she added, “So does Jack. But he won’t believe me when I try to tell him I do too, the bastard. He’s the worst of us all.”

“Stubborn idiot,” Daniel agreed, but there was a loving quality to their insults. He sat for a second, then asked, with a barely suppressed smile, “What did you say to him, though, Peggy?” 

“I haven’t mentioned it to him directly, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“That’s what I thought,” Daniel said, chuckling. Peggy raised her eyebrows at him.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just. You and Jack aren’t always the best communicators,” Daniel said with a shrug. “It’s no wonder that you’re both acting so weird.” 

“It’s not my fault that I’m British. Jack doesn’t have an excuse,” Peggy said, trying her best to keep a straight face. It was a losing battle though, and after a few seconds she and Daniel burst into laughter. 

Later that night, Peggy was finding it hard to sleep, and she nudged Daniel. 

“Huh?” he mumbled, blinking blearily at her. 

“We didn’t exactly talk about it directly either,” she told him, watching as he shook himself awake. 

“Okay,” he said. Although she’d been expecting that sort of easy agreement, she found herself at a loss for words again. It felt so taboo to put a voice to her feelings, even though she thought she’d accepted them. She had been talking around them for what felt like years, but was really only a day or so. She bit her lip, trying to force the words out of her mouth. Finally she settled for the kind of bold approach she always took.

“I love him, Daniel.” 

Strangely enough, the last thing she expected was for her lover to reply “So do I.” Of course, she’d had her suspicions, but still. She’d never thought they would actually talk about it. For some reason, hearing Daniel confess that he loved Jack made her want to curl up next to him and pull him closer up to her, so she did. He was warm, and he smelled like someone who hadn’t showered in a few days because he was spending all his free time at the hospital, stale sweat and lingering toothpaste, and she loved him so much that her heart ached. It would’ve been the perfect moment, but she was longing for Jack to be beside her, and she knew Daniel was too. The distance to the upstairs bedroom had never seemed so far, so insurmountable. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just said this but i'm saying it again, leave a comment, lemme know what you liked or didn't like! thank you sm for your kind comments on chap 1


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The person who shot Jack makes a second attempt. Peggy does something kind of stupid.

The next few days passed in a strange sort of haze. Peggy, Daniel, and Jack tried to get used to existing in the same space, with the added awkwardness of all the unspoken things that seemed to crowd the air until it was hard to breathe. Peggy spent most of her time at work, trying to unravel the case of Jack’s shooting. Daniel, in comparison, worked from home and took care of Jack despite all of Jack’s protests that he was just fine. 

One day, Peggy came home from work to find the door hanging open. Her hand went immediately, instinctively, to the gun at her side. She walked carefully inside, listening hard. The house was still, blinds still down from the morning. All of a sudden there was a sound from upstairs, a thump and a muffled yelp, and Peggy leapt into action, her heart beating a mile a minute. She kicked off her shoes to quiet her footsteps and then raced up the stairs, forcing herself to slow down before she reached Jack’s room. The scene she was met with took a moment to resolve itself in her eyes. 

Jack was out of bed, struggling with a masked assailant who obviously had the upper hand. They were a flurry of arms and kicking legs, and Peggy didn’t wait to see who was who. She rushed forward into the fray, dropping her gun in favor of her handbag, which she used to give the masked figure a strong whack over the head. They yelled and let go of Jack, which was all she’d wanted them to do. She pulled her fist back to punch them square in the nose like they deserved, but they pushed past her and ran for the stairs. Peggy wanted to chase after them and shoot them in the shoulder (and probably some other places) so they could see how it felt, but instead she stayed where she was: standing in the middle of Jack’s room, her bag hanging loosely from her hand, her chest heaving from the exertion. She turned her attention to Jack, who had collapsed on the floor and was currently trying to get up without much luck. She knelt beside him, checking him over for any (new) injuries. A crimson stain was spreading across the shoulder of his pyjama shirt, and after a moment of panic she realized he must have pulled his stitches. 

“Are you alright?” she asked him breathlessly. He nodded, even though the grimace on his face said something different. 

“I’m fine,” he muttered. “How about you, Carter?” 

“I’m fine,” she said. “I think you pulled your stitches. We need to get you cleaned up.”

Jack paused for a second, pretending to consider something. “Would that require moving?” he asked. “Cause I don’t know if I can do that.” 

“Yes, you can,” Peggy assured him, wrapping an arm awkwardly around him and helping him stand. He wobbled and leaned against her, giving her almost his full weight. Together they stumbled into the bathroom, where Peggy sat Jack against the tub as if he was a rag doll and then knelt beside him. He made a sound of surprise when she started unbuttoning his shirt but she stopped any protests with a scoff.

“Don’t even try to tell me you can do this by yourself,” she said firmly. “A minute ago you weren’t sure you could even stand.” 

Jack said nothing and Peggy went back to undoing his shirt and helping him pull it over his head. She wasn’t going to pretend that her breath didn’t catch in her throat when she saw Jack with his shirt off, but she was too focused on the bloodsoaked bandage wrapped around his shoulder, and she got to work peeling it away. It was heavy with the blood, and warm, and by the time his shoulder was bare her hands were stained an orangey red. She threw away the bandage and rushed to the sink, wetting a washcloth and rinsing all the blood off her hands. When she turned back to him Jack was looking at her with an expression that she couldn’t decipher, not even with all her code breaking skills. 

“What is it?” she asked softly as she resumed her place beside him. He shrugged, then winced. 

“Nothin’. Just… I’m surprised you haven’t kicked me out yet,” he said. Peggy wished she could yell at him to just stop teasing, stop joking, for one damn second. Because every “joke” he made carried more truth than anything else he could’ve said, and it was painful to hear, and hard to refute because he could hide behind the defense of a joke. 

“We would never kick you out,” Peggy said, carefully dabbing at his wound. He flinched and hissed through his clenched teeth. “I’m sorry,” Peggy added. “This might hurt a bit. Just stay still.”

“I’m bringing trouble to your door,” Jack continued. “You don’t need that.”

“We need you,” Peggy said before she could stop herself. In the dim light, Jack’s eyes widened and shone. Her first instinct was to take it back, but her second… “We need you,” she whispered, her hand stilling and resting on his chest. He reached up and covered her hand with his own, rougher than she would have expected it to be. Had they ever touched hands before, even accidentally? It was nice. Jack’s other hand came up to cup the back of her neck, and his eyes locked with hers, very plainly holding the question she hadn’t trusted him to ask.  _ Is this okay? Can we do this?  _ She’d hoped he wouldn’t think of it, because she didn’t know the answer. Not to that question. But she knew a different answer, and she gave him that one instead: she leaned in and brushed his lips with hers, so softly it could barely be called a kiss. He responded instantly, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. He kissed her like it had been a thousand years coming, and in a way, she supposed it had. She kissed him like he was the air she needed to breathe, wanting more, more,  _ more _ . How had they waited so long to do this? 

They leapt apart at the sound of a door shutting from downstairs. 

“Jack, I’m back,” Daniel called out. “I even remembered to tell them not to put mayo on your sandwich.” 

Neither Peggy nor Jack made any move to reply or alert him to their presence, they were frozen in time, the seconds old memory of their lips together playing on repeat in their minds. Peggy drew in a shuddering breath and opened her mouth to say… something, but Jack beat her to it, picking up the washcloth from where it had fallen on the floor.

“I’ve got this,” he said quietly, pained, waving the washcloth back and forth. 

“Are you sure?” Peggy whispered. 

“You don’t need to worry about me, Marge,” Jack said, and he tried to smile, but it came out crooked. Peggy’s heart twisted at the nickname.

“Okay,” she murmured, standing up. “I’ll just… go say hello to Daniel.” 

“You do that,” he muttered. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. Peggy blinked back tears and walked away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i could've gone on but i couldn't resist the urge to end this chapter on a cliffhanger!! i hope you enjoyed it anyway. i am kind of blown away by all the awesome comments people keep leaving!! thank u sm!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peggy and daniel have a conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is really short but i felt like i needed to post something soooo here :)   
> also- i promised someone that they would talk in the next chapter but I LIED MWHAHAHA. no i literally just forgot my plan for this fic and accidentally said something that wasn't true. oops!

Peggy met Daniel in the kitchen and didn’t bother pretending that everything was fine, he’d see right through her in a second anyway, read her mussed hair and smeared lipstick like a book. So in lieu of a greeting she started to lay out all the facts for him, letting the afternoon’s events spill from her lips in a rushed tangle of words. 

“They came after Jack again, but they’re getting sloppy. Don’t worry, he’s fine, but it could’ve been worse if I hadn’t gotten there in time. They must be afraid he knows something and he’s going to tell us, I wonder what-” 

“Peggy,” Daniel interrupted. “Slow down. And when you feel like it, tell me the other thing. The one that’s actually got you so rattled.”

“This is rattling enough, why does there have to be something else?” Peggy asked, trying to deflect his piercing gaze. 

“Because I know you,” he answered. “You only fiddle with your wristwatch when you’re worried about problems that you can’t solve by hitting someone over the head.”

“I could hit Jack over the head,” Peggy muttered, looking down at her hands, which were, in fact, worrying the smooth band of her watch. 

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t solve anything,” Daniel countered, stepping closer and tilting her chin up so she was looking him in the eyes again. “Tell me what happened,” he said softly. Peggy took a step back, needing to make space for what she was about to tell him. The movements of her hands got more frenzied, tugging at the strap of her watch, until Daniel placed his hands over hers to still them. Peggy took a deep breath and let it out.

“I kissed him,” she said. “Jack, I mean,” she added, although clarification wasn’t really necessary. “I kissed him, and he kissed me back, but then you came home and… oh, I’ve mucked everything up, Daniel.”

Daniel looked, for a split second, like he wanted to be angry. Like maybe  _ he  _ was going to hit Jack over the head. But it was only a second, and then he was pressing a kiss to Peggy’s lips, soft and chaste and so unlike Jack’s, and murmuring “You haven’t mucked anything up. We’ll figure this out like we always do.” 

“But we’re usually figuring things out to save the world,” Peggy replied. “I’m not good with feelings. And I’m so scared to lose him… or you.”

“You won’t lose me,” Daniel promised. “And you won’t lose Jack either. You’ll see. We can make it work.” 

Peggy could’ve continued arguing, but she was tired, and she wanted so badly to believe Daniel. So instead she put her arms around him and murmured “We’ll talk to Jack in the morning, he needs space. Let’s just focus on each other tonight.” 

Daniel didn’t need to be asked twice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack disappears, but Peggy and Daniel are ready to move heaven and earth to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't updated in forever i'm really sorry!! pls take this as an apology and peace offering, more to come soon

They slept in later than they had meant to the next morning (hazards of having a late night when you have to work the next day) and Peggy woke with the horrible feeling that she’d missed something really important. Her dreams had been nothing more than jagged shards of worries from the past week, and she had woken up twice in the middle of the night-- once from a dream that she could no longer remember, and once because she thought she heard someone moving in the house. This happened to Peggy often, and she dismissed it as nothing. Now, however, the nagging feeling that something horrible had happened while she slept brought back all her fears from the night. She untangled herself from and threw off her covers. She barely noticed the chill in the air as she leapt out of bed and made her way quickly to the bathroom to clean up. She brushed her teeth in record time and left her curlers in, too eager to make a sweep of the house to care what she looked like while doing so. 

Her first and, as it turned out, final stop was Jack’s room. The second she walked in, any thought of looking further disappeared from her mind, because it was empty. Completely, totally, empty. Peggy’s heart dropped to her stomach, then past that as more details popped out at her. The covers were dragged haphazardly up on the bed, as if someone with a gunshot wound in their left shoulder had tried to make it in the middle of the night. There was a puddle of water on the nightstand, where Jack must have knocked over his water glass. And there was a note. Peggy cautiously crossed the room to pick it up from where it lay on the nightstand, her fingers trembling a little bit. It was simple, only two words.  _ I’m sorry.  _ He hadn’t even signed it. Peggy felt all the breath go out of her in one whoosh, as if she’d been punched in the gut, but Peggy had been punched in the gut before. This pain was much worse. Tears burned in her eyes but didn’t trickle out. She was too far gone to cry, busy with the words running through her head. This was  _ all her fault _ . 

Daniel found her standing in Jack’s room, the note crumpled in her hand, silent tears running down her face. He didn’t say anything, just pulled her into a hug. 

“He’s gone,” she wept into Daniel’s shoulder. 

“No. We’ll find him,” Daniel promised, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “He can’t have got far,” he added. “He’s in no shape to be out of bed.”

They both took off from work that day and began to scour LA, starting in Daniel’s neighborhood, but moving further when they found nothing there. Peggy didn’t speak to Daniel as they walked, just focused all her energy on searching for any sign of Jack. The vengeful August sun beat down on them, making sweat run down Peggy’s back, but still she refused to give up. She didn’t even want to stop for lunch, but Daniel coaxed her into buying a sandwich, and they ate while they walked. After a while, her feet started to hurt. She was pretty sure her shoes were giving her blisters (aside from her boots, Peggy had yet to find sturdy, comfortable walking shoes) and even if they weren’t, she’d been walking all day. The sun reached the highest point in the sky, bearing down on them with all its fury, and then dipped towards the horizon. After another hour of searching, Daniel suggested, quietly, that maybe they should call it a day. Peggy shook herself out of her trance, stood still, and closed her eyes. She had been walking for so long that the landscape had all blurred together, an endless stream of palm trees and scorching sidewalks. When she opened her eyes again she saw Daniel watching her. She sighed.

“Fine,” she murmured. “We can go home.”

“Alright,” Daniel said, taking her hand. “I’ll call us a cab.” At his words, dread began to unspool in Peggy’s stomach, that particular feeling that sent her hands fidgeting and her foot tapping. The one that had kept her walking all day, feeding her a sick kind of stamina. The one that insisted  _ “Don’t give up, we can’t give up, what if he’s hurt? What if they find him? What if he’s curled up in an alley somewhere, bleeding out, and you’re abandoning him again?”  _

“We should walk,” Peggy blurted. “Just in case. We can walk home, cover one last little bit of ground, and then call it a night.” She bit her lip and looked towards the ground until she could blink away the tears stinging her eyes. 

“Okay, we can walk,” Daniel said, and Peggy heard relief in his voice. He didn’t want to stop searching either, she realized. He was probably feeling the exact same wash of guilt and fear that she was. They were in this  _ together. _ All of a sudden, his words from a few weeks ago echoed in her head.  _ “I’m in this with you till the end, Peggy.”  _ He’d meant it. He’d really, really meant it. 

“Thank you,” she said, wrapping her arms around him. He stood still, surprised, but only for a second before he hugged her back.

“I’ve never had anyone be this happy with me for not calling a cab,” he joked, and Peggy laughed, knowing he understood what she really meant.

“Alright, let’s walk,” she said, stepping away but grabbing his hand. She didn’t want to let go of him; not now, not ever. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy and Daniel find Jack and bring him home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow it's the end!! i hope anyone who's still reading this enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing it. peggy, daniel and jack are so close to my heart, and i really loved getting to explore their relationship some more. without further ado, the final chapter!!  
> also for the record i'm really sorry for the incredibly sporadic updates lol

They were walking past the SSR office, almost home when Peggy noticed it: the dark reddish spots on the sidewalk, incongruous with the grey concrete. She stopped in her tracks and bent down to inspect them, deciding in one heart stopping second that they were definitely blood. She swallowed hard and stood up; by that time Daniel was next to her, reaching the same conclusion she had. 

“He’s got to be close,” she said, already peering around for a clue as to where Jack might be. Daniel did the same, his sharp gaze scrutinizing the busy street bathed in purple grey twilight. Although he spotted the alley first, Peggy reached it before him by making full use of her truly unfair advantage of having two present, working legs. She almost didn’t want to step into the shadows, to face what she might find hidden behind the veils of darkness. But she would’ve braved anything for Jack, so she stepped forward, with Daniel right behind her. 

It didn’t take long to see him, nothing more than a slumping shape in the darkness, leaning against a dumpster. She was by his side in a second, heart thumping in her ears as if it were situated right behind her eyes, and she could barely hear herself as she called out his name. When he croaked “Carter?” and she realized his eyes were open, relief crashed over her in a dizzying wave. 

What happened next was a blur, and Peggy remembered only bits and pieces: standing on the street with Jack leaning heavy on her shoulder, staring up at the cotton candy sky and praying to a god she barely believed in for Jack to be alright while Daniel tried to call a cab. She didn’t remember getting into the cab, she was just all of a sudden in the backseat, looking at Jack’s pale, sweaty face and trying to blink back tears. His shirt sleeve was crusted with blood and she touched it gingerly, then carefully wrapped an arm around Jack and pulled him into her embrace. She wanted him here, close to her, where she could hear him breathe and feel his warmth and know he wasn’t going anywhere. There was some sort of commotion trying to get Jack inside, but he wasn’t making much sense, yelling and trying to resist their help. It was really starting to get dark now, the world was a wash of grey. 

When she came back to herself she was sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of tea in front of her, comforting warmth sinking through the cup into her hands. She pushed it away and got up from the table, noticing dimly as she walked down the hall that her hands were still shaking. Jack and Daniel were in the bathroom, Daniel dabbing at Jack’s wound with a washcloth. Jack didn’t try to protest, just watched Daniel with lazy, unfocused eyes. Peggy watched them for a second, her heart aching at the tenderness of the scene, then stepped into the room. 

“Carter,” Jack said, raising his head to look at her. “You’re here.”

“Yes I am, and you’re an idiot,” Peggy replied harshly. “Why did you run off like that?” All of a sudden she was boiling over, anger shuddering through her whole body. She felt lightheaded, torn between her relief at seeing Jack there and anger that he had left in the first place. 

“Peggy, go easy on him,” Daniel said, but she couldn’t stop. 

“Why did you leave us, Jack? Anything could have happened to you! You’re hurt! Did you even think about what it would do to us?” 

“Of course I was thinking about you,” Jack shot back. “I can’t lead trouble to you, Peggy! And that’s all I am. Trouble. I’m either gonna get you killed or ruin what you and Daniel have, and I can’t do that to either of you. I  _ can’t _ .” He shook his head, and suddenly he looked so small, too pale even in the dim yellow light. The green in the wallpaper cast a sickly shadow on his face. He wouldn’t meet Peggy’s eyes, and she felt all the fight go out of her. She sank to the floor next to Daniel, who was sitting back and watching both of them. He was still holding the bloody washcloth, his hand resting on Jack’s knee. He reached out with the empty hand and placed it on Peggy’s arm. 

“I’m sorry,” she said miserably, hanging her head, not sure which of them she was apologizing to. 

“Don’t be,” Jack said, but there was still a bitter note in his voice. “I should be sorry.” 

“Neither of you should be,” Daniel said loudly, and they both looked at him. “Look at us. We’re all here and we’re safe. We can figure out the rest later.” 

“Or now,” Peggy suggested, and he laughed, looking at her tenderly. 

“Or now,” he agreed, squeezing her arm before getting to his feet and going to wash out the cloth. Peggy looked at Jack, searching for the right words. As per usual, she couldn’t, so she just said what had been playing in her head like a heartbeat for days now, the thing she had been too afraid to say out loud. 

“I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I was so afraid to lose you, so I didn’t say anything but then… I almost lost you anyway.” 

“Peggy,” said Jack, looking pained, his eyes flicking to Daniel, who was just holding the washcloth under the stream of water, clearly listening to everything that was being said. 

“He knows,” she told Jack. “He…” And here she paused, not wanting to speak for Daniel on something so important. Daniel switched off the faucet and turned back to them, opening his mouth to say something. No sound came out. It was harder for him than it was for her, Peggy realized. Admitting that he loved a man was like confessing to a crime and hoping against all hope that he had chosen the right people to trust with his heart. He knew Peggy would never turn him in, of course, but Jack was a wild card, and he always had been. 

“We’ve talked about it,” Peggy said. “When you got shot, we realized....”

“We realized that we weren’t sure what we would do if you died,” Daniel finished. “You’re a pain in the ass, Jack, but somehow we love you anyway.” It wasn’t the love confession of the century, but it was very clear how much it meant to Jack. 

“Really?” he choked out. 

“Really,” Daniel promised, and Peggy was just a second behind him. Jack ducked his head, most likely hiding tears that he couldn’t hold back. 

“I never thought… I don’t deserve you two,” he muttered, and Peggy was the first to correct him, reaching for his hand. He glanced up at her touch. 

“Of course you do,” she said. “Of course you do.”

  


Daniel lent Jack a pair of pyjamas that didn’t quite fit right since he’d turned down Peggy’s teasing offer of one of her nightgowns. Standing in the hallway, the wooden floor warming under her bare feet, laughing with Daniel and Jack, Peggy had a sudden feeling that this was exactly where she’d been meant to end up. She looked around, at the men she loved, feeling the perfectness of the moment. Jack’s hair was messy, Daniel’s curl was hanging over his forehead, and she couldn’t remember last time any of them had gotten enough sleep. She was dead tired, asleep on her feet, but grinning. It reminded her that love, too, was endless, when you truly had it. Stronger than fear or guilt, it was the one thing that kept her going when she felt like all was lost: the knowledge that she had people by her side worth fighting for. That she had people to protect, people she loved and who loved her. As long as she had that, she’d be alright. They all would.

Then Jack started to walk towards the guest room, and Peggy’s tiredness returned with a vengeance, the spell broken.

“Jack,” she called, and he paused. “Won’t you stay with us tonight?” 

He hesitated. They were all still brand new, tripping through this relationship without grace or certainty, only sure that they loved each other and somehow the rest would work itself out. “Sure,” he said finally. “Yes.”

“Good,” Daniel said, and he led the way. 

They were all too tired to do anything but kiss each other good night and fall into bed, a tangle of arms and legs. Daniel was asleep the second his head hit the pillow, but Peggy stayed up longer, feeling the tendrils of sleep tugging at her but not quite ready to succumb. She looked over at Jack, who was loosely holding the hand of the arm that Daniel had thrown over him. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” she murmured. “I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I thought you might disappear again.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Carter,” Jack promised with more tenderness than she’d ever heard from him before. The last thing she saw before she drifted off to sleep was his beautiful, genuine smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm always a slut for feedback, so leave a comment and let me know what you liked or didn't like! thank you so much for reading this!! expect chapter two very very soon (and yes, i know i always say that! i'm not lying this time i swear, it's already written)


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